Playing Catch Up, Yet Again

Blogging is so much like exercise. It's so easy to find excuses to not do it. I'm too tired, my to-do list is too long, I'm too stressed, I just don't feel like it, I'll do it tomorrow. What I have to do is just actually do it. And just like exercising, it feels so great once I make the time and get it done.

I'm now writing from Utah.

For the time being, I'm just going to provide a brief overview of the last month or so, mostly to let myself process how much has actually happened.

The first week of June, Hubster graduated from dental school. Then, all our belongings were packed up, and we made the trek across half the country from Iowa to Utah, leaving behind our first home.

The getting to Utah will be a series of posts (to hopefully follow very very soon), as we decided to combine moving and summer vacation. We turned our move into a 10 day road trip, which (just like last year's road trip) was awesome.

Getting into our new home was it's own adventure, full of difficult negotiations and nail biting and more paperwork than I ever thought possible. But after several bottles of Tums, just a handful of meltdowns, and several hundred phone calls, we are settling into what we hope will be our forever home.

We still have quite a few boxes to empty (some that I'm tempted to just toss without even opening, because there is just so much stuff and I'm so tired of opening boxes and finding places for things.) We haven't done any decorating or styling, as we are still trying to figure out where everything should go in the kitchen.

Hubster and I have both started our new jobs. It's been an adjustment, since I was so settled in my last job. Learning new things and new schedules and new people is challenging. But at the same time, it feels great to be learning and pushing myself again, as I realized how mentally complacent I was becoming.

We are starting the search for child care for our boys. After throwing around ideas of au pairs, and summer camps, and everything in between, we are searching for a nanny (even though Bug insists that he does not need a nanny - apparently forgetting that he has younger siblings who do.)

We are exploring our new neighborhood and slowly adjusting back to the Utah culture. Even though we lived here in the past, after being gone for so many years, there was still a little culture shock on moving back. We apparently had become quite the country bumpkins in our small Iowa town, because the traffic, people, air quality, amount of stores, and time spent commuting have been difficult to adjust to.

But thankfully, there are the mountains right in our back yard, and those are just as amazing as they have ever been.

It's been a crazy month, full of stress and change and newness. I'm ready to settle back into a schedule, do some more hikes, make some new friends, and share a few more stories right here.

Let Me Explain...

...No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

(To quote one of the best movies there is.)

Sometimes, I feel like my blog is a childhood friend. The kind that you used to talk to every day and share every little detail with. Then life happens, and you get busy, and suddenly, you realize it's been forever since you've talked.

Once I'm in that situation, I start feeling awkward.If I call, will I just bother them? Are they mad that it's been so long? Are we still even friends?

Each time, once I've finally made contact again, I realize it's not awkward, it's not terrible. So, despite becoming that flaky and undependable person, I'm reestablishing contact.

Things are like they always are. Chaotic.  Can't things just settle down and be boring? Boring would be lovely.

Here's a summary of how things are going...

Our home has an accepted offer. The inspection and appraisal and all other things are done (to the best of my knowledge.) We close in about a month and a half.

We've made an offer on a home in Utah. After much nail biting negotiating, that offer has been accepted. We are still biting our nails as we wait for our financing to go through.

We are planning another epic summer road trip. Since we have to move all of us from Iowa to Utah, we decided that we would combine summer vacation with the driving.

I'm spending my days getting quotes from movers, figuring out the best way to get our cats to Utah, and sending dozens of emails to mortgage lenders, real estate agents, and all the other ancillary services that go along with this.

Monkey has been struggling in school. We actually got a letter sent home. We are meeting with his teacher and trying to figure out the best way to proceed.

I've almost got my Utah state medical licensing done so it looks like I actually will have a job after we move.

I'm making lists of everything that we will need to do when we move. Pack. Change utilities. Change banks. Change address on a bazillion different things.

I spent the weekend "helping" Monkey construct a rocket for Scouts. Helping is what I've starting calling my constant nagging and scolding.

I had to come up with an academic project for my first year at my new job. I've come up with an idea and the project has been approved.

Hubster and I watched 4 seasons of Game of Thrones in one month.

I've had three dentist appointments in 5 weeks. Boo. Except one of those appointments is for bleaching, so I can have pretty pearly white teeth.

I turned another 30-something age a few weeks ago.

Duck accidentally got fed a gluten-filled muffin and had days of misery in which pretty much no one slept.

Spring arrived.

I continue to work. Hubster continues to go to school. We continue to do laundry, make meals, supervise homework, go for walks, survive bedtimes.

I think the stress that accompanies change is getting to me. I'm not super fun to be around and I cry at random things. Today, I cried at a picture on Facebook of Kathrine Switzer, the first female in the Boston Marathon. Last night, I dissolved into tears while singing "Return to Pooh Corner" to Duck at bedtime.

Things are actually falling into place. I know they won't be chaotic forever. I may even find time to write a real post.

But for now, it was nice to just catch up.

The Only Constant is Change

Here it is, nearly the end of March, and I haven't sat down all month to write.  After our whirl wind month, it feels difficult to summarize in a way that is succinct enough to be manageable and in depth enough to be meaningful.

We are in the middle of a transition period. Transitions are always difficult, full of unknowns, stress, half-executed plans, and a feeling of being unsettled. 

We are moving.

Hubster and I have both accepted jobs in Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm originally from there, as much as I can be originally from anywhere. Hubster has taken his dream job in a private practice dental practice. I've accepted an academic position at the University of Utah, which is turning out to be the dream job that I didn't even know I always wanted. We are both extremely happy with our new jobs.

That still doesn't make things easy.

Hubster found out about his job in November, but just got the contract settled two weeks ago. I interviewed for my job mid January, and am still trying to get things completely finalized.

Since we were fairly sure things were going to work out job-wise, we knew that we would have to sell our home. I actually met with our real estate agent weeks before I had even interviewed for my job.

Before putting our house on the market, we had a long list of home projects to do, including redoing both bathrooms. I've already shared the hall bathroom redo. The master bath is also completely finished, and a post sharing that is in the works. Doing all the projects ate up all our weekends in January and February.

We also had to replace the siding on our house, because the woodpeckers and weather have had a heyday with the original wood siding. Working with the subcontractor for the siding ended up being immensely frustrating; the whole process was prolonged and drug out and painful. In the end, the siding looks wonderful, although maybe not so wonderful as to be worth all the stress (which included the inability to use our garage or driveway for a month and a half during the worst of the winter weather).

Finally, all the work on the house was done, and we listed the house two weeks ago. We got an offer right away (that is its very own story.)

Last week, we flew out with all our kids to do some house hunting in Salt Lake City. Financing is still hazy, because of our massive student loans, but we think we have found a house we want to make an offer on.

Top this off with trying to get a new medical license for the state of Utah, Hubster taking his dental board exams, being in charge of decorations for the school carnival, keeping our house spotless for pictures, inspections, and showings, Duck deciding to unleash the terrible twos in full force, and Monkey and Bug extremely moody and difficult because they don't want to move, things have been crazy.

I'd like to say that I'm sailing through this with grace and poise and optimism, but that wouldn't be true. It's more like I'm blundering my way through with a short temper, frequent tears, and occasional active avoidance. 

At least winter is over and spring is coming. 

I'm hoping that just like the seasonal change, these changes in our lives will all be for the best. We just have to survive the transition.

Today is a New Day

Yesterday was not one of my shining moments. In fact, it was an all around awful day.

When I left for work at 6:30 am, two out of the three children were crying and refusing breakfast. The other one was loudly complaining about the other two crying. Hubster was looking overwhelmed at trying manage the crying and the rest of getting things ready by himself.

Each morning, when I leave for work and Hubster is left to finish dressing and feeding and herding all three boys, I feel guilty. Yesterday, when there were tears and yells, I felt even worse.

My work day was already scheduled to be long, but then some urgent issues came up and I didn't get to leave until an hour and a half after I was originally scheduled to leave. When I left the hospital at 6:30 pm, I was feeling so grateful that I had thought to do a crock pot meal, so that at least dinner would already be done when I got home.

When I walked through the door at a quarter to seven, dinner being done was about the only good thing going on. Bug and Monkey were quarreling something fierce. Hubster was repeated asking Monkey to get back on his homework. Duck was crying. Hubster looked as tired as I felt.

It just spiralled out of control from there. Duck refused to eat any dinner and kept climbing on the table. Monkey refused to eat with the rest of us and to do his homework. Bug kept sneaking away from his chores to play computer games and got grounded from all electronics for the rest of the week. During the chaos, the cat got on the table and ate part of the dinner. 

That crock pot dinner didn't do a thing to make the day better.

By the time the kids were tucked in to bed, there was no one who hadn't yelled and/or cried during the evening.

Like I said, not my proudest moment.

Most days, Hubster and I are pretty laid back and can just roll with what comes. Over the last dozen years of being parents, our patience has grown. Our perspective about what matter and what is a big deal has evolved; we know what battles to fight (teeth brushing and respect) and which are not battles at all (red socks. Red socks are never worth fighting about.) 

Almost every day is a little crazy at our house. That's just status quo for a family with two full time working parents, three boys, two cats, and a fish. At baseline, there is always noise and mess.

For some reason, our ability to cope with it yesterday was at an all time low. The long day, the late meal, the disruption of our house with the bathroom renovation, too many nights of not enough sleep, winter. It all came together in a perfect storm of a major parenting fail.

As the parent, my attitude sets the mood for the family. When I'm calm and happy and remember to respond with a smile and encouragement, things go great (for the most part.) When I'm tired and nursing a developing migraine and irritable, responding to my children in frustration and a raised voice, it's a guaranteed disaster.

Last night, I was well aware that I was not helping anything. I kept trying to give myself a mental pep talk. "Just be calm, don't get frustrated, it will only make it worse." That didn't help.

Normally, after an awful day where I wasn't the best mom, I just feel like a huge failure. Last night, I was almost too exhausted to even muster that feeling. As I kissed my boys' blond heads good night, I just felt relief that the day was over.

I always want to be the best parent possible. I always want to be patient and pulled together and the perfect example that they can look up to.

Sometimes, I just have bad days.

But today is a new day.

This morning, I took each of my kids and my husband aside. I gave them big hugs and apologized for the rough day before. I kissed them and told them that today is a new day.

I'll take yesterday, do my best to learn from it, and then tuck it away, where I won't continue to dwell on all my failures. I already know what went wrong. I don't need to keep beating myself up about it.

Today is a new day. Another day to be the parent I want to be. Another day to get back to how we want our family to be. 

Review of 2014: Part 4

Just as suddenly as I have come to terms that it is 2014, here I am, wrapping up a review of the entire year. Every year, I hope to take things slower, more simply, but time just continues to race along, regardless of my feelings.


After a stressful spring and a busy summer, I was hoping things would settle down in the fall/winter. They didn't. Both due to outside events and my own doing, things stayed busy.

October

We visited the Field of Dreams - it only took over 5 years of living a hour away for us to do this.





My brother was in a very serious accident. It resulted in a long ICU stay and many many worrisome moments. He is in the process of making a full recovery.

The stress of being far away from family continued to be a strain.

I ran my first 10K.

We celebrated Hubster's birthday.

I started a chess club at Monkey's elementary school. I've loved every moment of it.

We tried to take advantage of everything autumn has to offer in the Midwest. Autumn here never fails to amaze me.  We did hikes, corn mazes, leaf piles, and pumpkin picking.














We celebrated Halloween.





November

I continued my job search. I spent (and continue to spend) a significant time freaking out about it.

It snowed. I worried that this would mean another terrible winter. However, that has been the only snow we received so far.

I had a mother-son date night with Bug and Monkey. We ate out and they just killed me with their cuteness as they ordered their own food without any input from me. We finished the evening at Cirque Du Soleil. I spent a couple days afterwards wondering if Monkey was going to run off with the circus.

Hubster's brother's daughter was born with a severe congenital heart defect and underwent several surgeries. She's home now and doing quite well.

Duck turned 2.

We celebrated Thanksgiving, doing our first one completely on our own without any friends or extended family.

December

I scheduled another job interview (to be done in January) There may be more details depending on how it goes. Hubster started his post-dental school job search. We decided that living in the same state is a high priority for us.

Monkey had a lot of Boy Scout activities - fire safety, and swimming, and bell ringing. 

We continued to have a lot of chess - both at the school club and a few tournaments that Monkey did.

We had our traditional fondue night for winter solstice.

We tried to focus on Christmas. Hubster's school schedule lightened a little, making that easier.

We picked our tree.

We baked a ridiculous amount of cookies.

We had more pajama days than I care to admit.

It didn't snow. 

We had a lovely Christmas.

___________________________________________________

I wish I could say that 2014 was a good year. There were plenty of good, even amazingly wonderful parts of it. But overall, it has been a difficult year for us. We've had one family crisis after another. Hubster and I are almost to the point of decided that if our phones ring after 10 pm, we aren't going to answer, because we can't take any more bad news.

I'm continuing to try to focus on the beauty and not be weighed down by the stressful, but it's often very difficult.



As for 2015, I have no idea what it holds. There will most likely be a move, but I don't yet know where. There will most likely be a job change, but I don't know to what. There will be more birthdays, more miles logged, more holidays celebrated. I hope there will be fewer late night phone calls and less hospital visits. But even if that hope doesn't hold up, there will still be us, attempting to take things a day at a time and find enjoyment and quiet where we can.

Review of 2014: Part 3

Already it's time to review July through September, which means that this review is moving almost as fast as all of 2014 seems to go.

 

The summer gave us some time to try to recover from the difficult previous months. We don't get a lot of time off that we get to spend all together, so we did our best to make the most of it.

 

 

July

 

We celebrated the Fourth with Popsicles, sparklers, and glow sticks.

 

 

 

 

We left on what I started calling our epic family road trip, traveling to the Great Smokey Mountains, Disney World, the Gulf Coast, Atlanta, Nashville, and other locations.

 

 

 

 

We took awesome family pictures like this...

 

 

I fell in love with road tripping and have spent all the time since trying to convince Hubster that we should buy an Airstream.

 

August

 

We spent a weekend in Chicago.

 

 

We sent the two oldest boys on their first solo trip to visit their grandparents. We all survived.

 

 

We tried to make the most of each hot day. We ate our weight in Popsicles.

 

 

 

Monkey turned 8.

 

 

 

Bug started middle school. Monkey started 3rd grade.

 

 

 

We all survived.

 

 

September

 

I started seriously looking for my next job. Hubster and I flew to the West Coast to interview. I didn't get the job and for very complicated reasons, I was ok with it.

 

 

 

 

We redid our deck.

 

 

We went apple picking.

 

 

Overall, we did our best to take it slower. And enjoy every moment that we could. After how stressful the first part of the year was, it was just what we needed.