Sunday, August 1, 2010

The good, the bad, and the absolutely miserable

Or in other words, a summary of July.

Because I want to end on a high note, we'll start with the miserable.

-This month has been tough. I had a breakdown the middle of last week. There was a lot of hysterical crying and self pity.

-I took a mandatory stress level test and qualified based on my test score for burnout.

-I was pulled out of the OR to meet with my residency director to talk about my emotional well being and my future in the program and in anesthesia. I did a little more crying. The summary was that yes, things are tough. But c'mon, it's July! I'm just starting. Give me six months. And things will be okay.

So, if that wasn't enough miserable, we'll move on to the bad.

-The school yard care people were trimming along the fence that divides us from the school and in the process took out most of my grape vine. So the beautiful vine covering the arbor over the gate is no more.

-I found a dead cardinal in the back yard. I'm not sure why this bothers me so much.

-I miss blogging. I told Hubster that blogging is part of how I cope with my life, so I need to do it more often. We're still looking for room in the new schedule for blogging.

If you know me at all, you know that while I like to complain about my life and my job and well, most things, I'm actually a very optimistic, happy, glass-half-full type of person. So here is the good.

-Hubster got an interview for dental school. Of course he did. He's brilliant.

- My sister had her baby on Friday. A little boy (which makes 4 out of the 5 of my parents' grandchildren boys.) Congrats, sis! I can't wait to see him.

-Monkey, after a set back a couple months ago, is now sleeping dry throughout the night and hasn't had a nighttime accident in over two weeks. Good-bye Pull-Ups.

-The weather is gorgeous. Perfect for grilling and camping and swimming.

-I've gone out of my comfort zone and taken the boys with me to two social gatherings this last weekend. I'm glad I did. I socialized, relaxed, and last night, had a full out therapy session with a couple of my closest friends in residency. It was wonderful. I have great people in my program.

And that was just July.

I'd like to say, bring on August. But I'm sure it will come, with everything it brings, whether I'm ready or not.

Update: Another good thing...

I just realized that today marks exactly two years since I first started blogging. Since then, I've changed names, locations, and looks (and I'm not just talking blogging here.) Wow, how the time flies.


  1. I hope things will start looking up in Aug. I know you will be able to handle it all. Good luck with everything.

  2. A dead cardinal would bother me a lot too. As would the stress of everything you are going through. Hope August is calm and peaceful.

  3. Two years is quite an accomplishment in the blogisphere—that's like 6 years in blog life!

    August is going to be better, right?! It can't get any worse! Hang in there.

  4. I'm so sorry about all the stress and anxiety. Things will get better. You have to go through the unfun stuff so that you know how much to appreciate the great things when they come.

    I'm very excited for your husband's dental school prospects! Good luck to him!

    And Happy Blogoversary!

  5. Wow Congratulations on your 2 year blogging anniversary. What a tough July...August is sure to be better :)

  6. Oh Katherine, I'm so sorry that things have been so stressful for you! I really feel for you, I really do - I have no idea how you handle everything that you have on your plate right now. I just want you to know that I am seriously impressed by you - and I KNOW that even though things are tough now, you will get through this and things will start to fall in place. Hang in there, lady. You can do it, and don't forget that, at least in my view as an outsider, you are doing an awesome job of handling everything, even if you don't feel like you are.

  7. Hang on sweetheart. Not all lights in the tunnel are trains. There will be picture perfect days for you to slip into, collect all that is dear and wonderful and hug it close. The one saving grace I have found is to take the stress and truly blow it away as though a dandelion puff from the palm of my hand. In the good times be fully there, no stressor allowed, then the dark things cannot steal the sweet places in your life. You are one of the most brave and solid and well adjusted persons I know. I'll come as soon as I can! xoxo

  8. Hi sweet friend. Sorry I have been so MIA lately. I had a similar July, but insert a few different miserable, bad, and good events.

    YAY for Monkey. Mini #1 is there too! Woohoo! August will get better and you know those spontaneous therapy sessions with friends are the best. I miss blogging too and hope to be back to "normal" soon.

    I loved the corn shucking dinner party pictures. :)