Call me typical.
If I walk through the door at home after a long day of work, and there are flowers on the table, it makes me happy. I know the whole thing about them not lasting, about them being expensive. I don't care. Roses, daisies, tulips, lilies. It doesn't really matter.
Flowers can be for birthdays, Valentine's Day, Mother's Days, or anniversaries. Flowers can mean I love you, I was thinking of you, I'm sorry, You mean so much to me, or Just because. I don't really care the reason. I love getting flowers.
Like I said. Call me typical.
So here's my dilemma.
Hubster is amazing. Without complaint (usually), he's put in two years of being a stay-at-home dad. He gets the laundry done. He gets the boys to school. He makes the beds and sweeps the floors. Nearly every day, he has dinner ready when I get home from work. He doesn't complain about my crazy work hours. Especially lately, when my work hours have been a little bit longer and the chance of getting home early isn't an option, he's really kept the loose ends covered.
He deserves flowers.
Except he's a guy. And from previous conversations, I'm pretty sure he doesn't get that warm fuzzy feeling regarding flowers that I do.
So what is the male equivalent of flowers?
I asked my colleagues at work. At first it was, "Well, what does he like?" I could get him more golf equipment, or a Sudoku book, or such. But I don't think that works. I don't think a box of golf balls says the same thing as a dozen roses.
Then I got the inevitable answer. Sex. My friends were insistent that this is the closest equivalent. While it may be true that this is what men want, I still don't think that it's the same as flowers. There isn't the same "walk through the door and think, Ahhh, you thought of me" type of feeling.
The closest thing we could come up with? Steak. Every guy I asked said that steak makes things feel more special.
So that's what I did. I managed to get home a little early with some steaks. I told Hubster I would make dinner. We had grilled steaks and ate them on our deck, enjoying the warming weather and each other's company. And it was nice.
But I still don't think it's the same.
So now, I'm out of ideas.
What, if anything, can a girl get a guy on occasion to let him know that she loves him, she appreciates him, and she's lucky to have him?
I don't think my back up plan of sandwiches is going to work.
Honestly, there isn't much. If I'm trying to do something nice for my hubby, I'll buy his favorite candies or treats (nerds/sweethearts/entemann's raspberry danish/fig newtons)(though right now he's trying to avoid sugar, lame), or I'll just write him a sincere note and place it in a place where I know he'll find it, but not expect it. Like his steering wheel, or on the door or under his pillow, etc. And then I just do my best to have things ready for him whenever I can--making dinner, like you said, cleaning things up, etc.
ReplyDeleteMen are hard. Sheesh.
Just tell him. Maybe surprise him with a movie he wanted to see. Ed just appreciates it when I wear something that he likes me in, not necessarily lingerie. BUt something like that. Hope it helps. I also bring him home little treats. I'm not a flower girl. So when He surprises me with something it's usually random.
ReplyDeleteSteak and sex! lol!
ReplyDeleteMy guy likes a particular steakhouse here and I take him there for his birthday when I can.
And knowing that I appreciate him really makes him feel good. An unexpected, and sincere, compliment can do wonders for a man's ego.
Hmmm... I second the idea of a movie, his favorite snacks, and a beverage waiting for him when he comes home from running to the store or something. Give him the night off. :)
ReplyDeleteHumor. My sister always sparkled her relationship with fun: post it notes stuck all over the dashboard with little one liners and compliments, or cookies, candies, but gift-wrapped with a meaningful card, interspersed with small gifts of silly socks, a car full of balloons, and mild April fools like tricks. etc. A pic-nic basket, date night on the lady. The invitation to a waltz to music and candle-light, a wedding photo copied and attached to a home-made card or in a frame with a note of appreciation. While I should do it more often, I think she was onto something...(J.J. is right about the sincere compliment)
ReplyDeleteGuys enjoy TLC like: dressing up for them, wearing make-up or perfume if its not ordinary, having ready a bubble bath, a massage, thin mints on the bedtime pillow or the comfort of a warm mug of something, and yes, even flowers, if its not routine.
Any way you slice it its a little more work than flowers (but worth it). Good-luck!
If there isn't something he obviously wants (like an oversized TV), usually my best bet is food. Husband loves it when I cook his favorite foods...
ReplyDeleteI wish I could help you out but as long as he knows how much you appreciate his hard work, that should give him all sorts of warm fuzzys!
ReplyDeleteGuys just aren't the same as women. From my limited knowledge, I'd have to say that you chose wisely with the steaks. I also think if there's anything he's into, adding little pieces to a collection is always a nice way to show your appreciation.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tough one. What about a little time away where you get away and do something he really enjoys? I liked the post-it note idea of one of your other readers. I have done that for my husband and he loved it. I put them in his coat pocket and in his car and work laptop bag. He said it made him feel special to know I was thinking of him and that I showed it in such a simple way. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSteak. Maybe a steak dress. But I know what you are saying, it's not the same thing. Did you ask hubby? Maybe I will take a poll around the office, too. Now I want to know.
ReplyDeleteLisaDay
Steak dress! Ha! Ha! I'll have to try that one.
ReplyDeleteBecause your lives are so busy, I bet he'd appreciate the gift of time--a night off, when he can do whatever he wants. You could take the boys out and leave him with a quiet house.
If you find a good answer to this, please send it my way! I have been in the same quandry for YEARS! MacGyver is super considerate and does tons of little surprises, but there aren't many little sweet things that give him the same feeling.
ReplyDeleteThe best I've come up with is 1) Beer; or 2) Some junk food that I don't normally have in the house. Of course, I can only do that once in a while or it defeats the novelty of it.
I was given sex as the answer once, too. Totally not the same.
Yeah, guys are difficult when it comes to something like this. I know what would work for my husband, a pie. And maybe sex.
ReplyDelete