The days are warmer, and with the warm weather have come a flurry of growing things. And all the growing and springing have me motivated. I have more energy than I have in a very long time. Energy to get things done.
I could talk about the things I have done with all this energy. But instead, I'm going to make a list of things I know need to be done. And by done, I mean by the end of this month. I know that Project 52 isn't really about deadlines, but I'm giving myself some here. I need to take this energy that the warm weather is giving me and tackle the things that either overwhelm me or scare me.
3. Submit posts for SITS
I feel that many of the bloggers featured on SITS either have amazing writing skills and/or a beautiful blog. I've been intimidated by all these other bloggers for so long. But I need to get over this. I know that the waiting list to be a featured blogger on SITS is probably years long, worse than any daycare waiting list, but if I don't do this now, it will only get longer.
But this is where I could also use some help. If you have a moment, could you run through my archives and just let me know some of your favorite posts? Because you are wonderful like that.
8. Share some recipes.
I love cooking. With my menu planning, I'm doing it more often. But sharing recipes gives me as much anxiety as the idea of a pot luck. It means putting something out there that I love and seeing if other people will enjoy it. And I don't really have many original recipes, just ones I have tweaked to fit my family's "discerning " tastebuds. And I can't pretend that I'm going to have anything amazing, or be the next Pioneer Woman or anything.
11. Get serious about finding a job, meaning I actually have to submit my CV or talk to an actual person.
Out of everything on my list, this scares me the most. It brings up all sorts of insecurities about whether or not I'm going to be a good anesthesiologist, about whether or not I have the skills necessary to make it. I'm terrified of finding out that I'm not as good as I should be. Also, with our complicated family situation, what with dental school and all, the possibility of finding my dream job isn't really a reality. Coming to terms with that and taking what is available is just a little bit hard. But the end of residency is approaching faster than ever, and I need a job.
12. Break out the oil paints and put brush to canvas.
I started painting in high school and continued to paint during college. At one point, I like to think I was quite good. But it's been years since I've mixed colors together and put them on canvas. And the thought of struggling through basic technique scares me. But I have to remember that I'm not painting for anyone but myself.
14. Do the Couch-to-5K program.
I have tried getting in shape. I've tried losing weight. I've tried running. And in the past, I've failed on all accounts. But hopefully, with this slow, gradual program, and I can do it this time.
17. Send a handwritten letter to 5 friends.
This one doesn't scare me. But it does overwhelm me a little. Writing a letter seems like such a luxury. But I'm going to just sit down and do this one.
36. Get a better handle on our finances.
This one embarrasses me just a little. As an adult, I feel like I should be very financially responsible. And for the most part, we are. We live within out means. We are not extravagant. We have money left over at the end of each month. A little is going into savings. But I've always been a little passive about this. I need to take a more active part, and get a better idea of exactly how much our bills amount to, exactly how much we have in savings. In other words, I need to start acting like an adult.
I'm hoping to start tackling these few things on my list that pit me against my insecurities. I want to be brave, brave enough to push myself to grow, to push upward and onward. And what better time than spring to do this?