It seems we are having a few too many waking up on the wrong side of the bed, horrible, terrible, no good days. You say your legs are too tired to get out bed, mope over your breakfast, whimper over hair combing and teeth brushing, and drag your feet all the way to school.
I keep wondering where my giggling, bouncy happy eyed boy it. I feel that maybe I lost him between the last 13 hour work day and the weekend call shift. Maybe the sunny faced morning boy has been gone a long time, and it's just these past couple weeks of being home in the morning have let me realize that.
But no, I don't believe it.
I still see your sunshine, when you show me your drawings from school. When you show me how long you can balance on your scooter or how high you can swing on the swing in the back yard.
You are still there.
I just need to remember that being five is hard. All the expectations have changed. You are still so little, little enough to need a stool to stand on when you brush your teeth and little enough to need help with your socks occasionally. But you are also big. Big enough to have chores and big enough to start reading and big enough to almost, almost beat your brother in a foot race (or at least to want to beat your brother.) This age of being stuck between little and big is difficult. Difficult for you, wanting to be independent, but still wanting help. Difficult for us, knowing which time is which.
Being five is a tough job. And sometimes that equates to grumpy, pouty, very bad days.
But don't worry. I still love you, no matter how many meals you refuse, no matter how many time outs there are in a day, no matter how long it takes to get dressed in the morning.
You are my sunshine.
Even when you stomp off, shouting you are NOT my sunshine.
Even then, I love you.