Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Monkey, Version 3.12

Dear Monkey,

It seems we are having a few too many waking up on the wrong side of the bed, horrible, terrible, no good days.  You say your legs are too tired to get out bed, mope over your breakfast, whimper over hair combing and teeth brushing, and drag your feet all the way to school.

I keep wondering where my giggling, bouncy happy eyed boy it.  I feel that maybe I lost him between the last 13 hour work day and the weekend call shift.  Maybe the sunny faced morning boy has been gone a long time, and it's just these past couple weeks of being home in the morning have let me realize that.

But no, I don't believe it.

I still see your sunshine, when you show me your drawings from school.  When you show me how long you can balance on your scooter or how high you can swing on the swing in the back yard. 

You are still there. 

I just need to remember that being five is hard.  All the expectations have changed. You are still so little, little enough to need a stool to stand on when you brush your teeth and little enough to need help with your socks occasionally.  But you are also big.  Big enough to have chores and big enough to start reading and big enough to almost, almost beat your brother in a foot race (or at least to want to beat your brother.)  This age of being stuck between little and big is difficult.  Difficult for you, wanting to be independent, but still wanting help.  Difficult for us, knowing which time is which.

Being five is a tough job. And sometimes that equates to grumpy, pouty, very bad days.

But don't worry.  I still love you, no matter how many meals you refuse, no matter how many time outs there are in a day, no matter how long it takes to get dressed in the morning.  

You are my sunshine.

Even when you stomp off, shouting you are NOT my sunshine.

Even then, I love you.



  1. He is so darling. It's funny how, as adults, we forget how hard it is to be a kid. We look at that age with grown up eyes. We long for the days when our biggest problems were things like our brother eating all the cherry popsicles. But when you're in the middle of it and haven't faced tougher challenges, it really CAN feel like the end of the world.

  2. Aww, this post melts my heart. I currently have a 5-year-old who is feeling sick (temp and throwing up) and acting VERY grumpy. She yelled something about "You're a mean mommy" when I made her take some tylenol, but I didn't take it too personally.

  3. That is so sweet. It brings tears to my eyes. You are just perfect for the role as a mum.

  4. I have to put myself in my daughter's shoes all the time so I don't get too frustrated with her. It is definitely helpful on those days when it seems as though her sunny disposition is nowhere to be found. I hope things have gotten better!

  5. This is such a sweet take on these issues. Five IS hard. And you're an awesome mommy for so easily recognizing that.