A long list of used to

I used to write poetry. Lots and lots of it.

And not just teenage angst lines (although there was plenty of that). I wrote about my mother, my children, growing up, and trees. I wrote a lot about trees.

I haven't written any poetry for quite a long time.

It's not like I don't try. I have a notebook in my purse that I keep for when inspiration stops by...or waves from across the road. But it just doesn't come to me like it used to.

I sometimes feel that "used to" were the saddest words.

I used to dance ballet.

I used to spend time in the darkroom with my old film SLR.

I used to paint oils.

I used to want to be a marine biologist.

And I've been worried that poetry is being added to my list of "used to."

But maybe it isn't as sad as I think it is. Maybe writing, no matter what it is, even this blog, is enough. Maybe I don't need the poetry anymore.

But occasionally, I still hear it.