Review of 2014: Part 1

When I saw several bloggers teaming up to sponsor a review of the last year, encouraging bloggers to go back and review their year, several months at a time, I knew I had to participate. 2014 has been such a stressful, crazy, hectic, roller coaster of a year. I found myself with very little time to write. There are many things I wanted to share, but never got the opportunity to. So I'm taking that chance, and joining in the 2014 Review Extravaganza

January

January found us in the middle of one of the coldest winter on record. We had days on end of below zero temperatures, multiple school cancellations for the frigid cold, and became all too familiar with protocols to prevent frozen pipes.

We did our best to cope with the cold. We did indoor ice skating, we had game nights, plenty of evenings around our fireplace.

The cold weather made it possible to walk across the lake, freeze bubbles on the porch, and make ice lantern. Like I said, we dug deep to find the silver lining.

With the intolerable temperatures outdoors, I decided to fully commit to the whole running thing and bought a treadmill.

February

Bug and Monkey continue to compete in chess tournaments, so I spent many Saturdays in junior high cafeterias, cheering them on (but only very quietly, as to not disrupt the games.)

We went skiing several times.

Yes, you can ski in Iowa.

 I got the flu.

I thought winter would never end.

The one time I managed to blog this month, I wrote about one of the biggest struggles I face with parenting.

March

Things really started to pick up in March.  I started studying very seriously for my oral boards and that started to consume my entire life.

Despite the massive amount of book time I was putting in, we still managed to do plenty of fun activities.

We went to Wisconsin Dells for Spring Break. We packed in several days of water slides, laser tag, bowling, and just over all great fun and relaxation.

We tapped our maple tree, which I always look forward to with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm. We didn't end up getting any maple syrup though, because I forgot about the sap boiling while doing board study and ended up burning all the gallons of beautiful sap we had collected.

I turned 32.

I maintained what little sanity I had left by completing one of my life goals and hiring a cleaning service.

___________________

I may be a little guilty of using this review as an excuse to share many photos that I wouldn't get to post otherwise. But I really enjoyed the chance to sit down, look back, and remember how the first part of the year went. Which is how the entire year went: in a flash.

Over and Gone

It's official.

My vacation is over.

I'm pretty sure those were the fastest 10 days of my entire life. I think they passed even faster because I was so worried about wasting one second of those 10 precious days.

Nothing makes a vacation feel more over than a 13 hours trauma surgery shift. That starts at 5:30 am.

The Thanksgiving leftovers are gone.

The Halloween candy is (finally) gone.

And it's supposed to start snowing any day, so I guess autumn in gone now too.

But it was not without wonderful moments.

Sleeping in until the sun poured through my bedroom window.

Having the time to cook breakfast for my family.

Finishing the Christmas shopping.

Discovering a new park.


Working on our next home project (here's a clue...)

Final project will be revealed, well, when it's done.

I love being home so much it makes me wonder how I can ever go back to work. The very idea of being away from my boys nearly makes me sick. But I wake up, at 4:40 am, and go to work. For them.

Day One

I successfully made it through my first day as an intern.

I got to introduce myself as "Doctor" for the first time today.

I wrote orders and they happened. I asked nurses for things, and they got them. I felt, not just like a doctor, but like a grown-up.

And I got paid today. My first real paycheck in, um, a very long time.

I actually had a good day.

Which is very strange for me to say. I almost feel embarrassed to say it. I've spent to much time (and strangely, effort) into being upset about the demands of a medical life, and nervous about residency, that having fun was the last thing I expected.

I actually kind of like being a doctor.

Well, at least today I did.

When I wasn't thinking about how much I missed Roman and Blaise, and wondering how Keith was doing in his new role of stay at home dad. And wishing that I was much more caffeinated.

It was a successful day one. Now I just need to figure if it is all uphill or downhill from this point.

Chrysalis

We have been keeping caterpillars in a jar on our counter.

We caught them a couple weeks ago off the milk weed in the field next door. I wish I had taken pictures then, to show you their black, green, yellow, and white fat little bodies. And how Roman kept saying "They look just like they are make out of clay."

We actually watched one make his chrysalis. Even surrounded by medicine and the marvels of technology, the simple things of nature are sometimes the most miraculous. How in mere minutes, this fat J of a caterpillar covered himself in shiny, protective greenness.

And today, emerged as a butterfly.

It doesn't matter how common place these things are, or how often we see it. The fact that this transformation occurred in a jar on our kitchen counter is amazing.

(I, of course, missed the whole thing. I was at hospital orientation. But as I am now being paid for this, I will try to think of everyday differently.)

The boys were amazed. Roman said he did want to hold the butterfly with his finger, but it just wouldn't come of the stick they had used to retrieve it from the jar.

Although, from these pictures it looks like no one really wanted to hold the butterflies
Blaise especially looks thrilled about this

Roman and Blaise watched it dry and strengthen its wings in the sun.



And then it flew away.

Arrived

We've been in Iowa for 6 days.

We've unpacked 5, maybe 6 boxes.

We are still getting our clothes out of suitcases. We are sleeping on the floor.

There is sawdust, and plaster dust, and paint everywhere.

I'm beginning to think that trying to do an entire home renovation in 10 days was a really, really, really bad idea.

But we love Iowa. We love our neighborhood. The woods next to us are filled with fireflies, caterpillars, cardinals. There is a little bunny that lives in our backyard and squirrels in our front tree. It is a little boys paradise.

For the first time in, well, forever, we can really say we are home.

Even if there is nowhere to sleep.

Rules of Engagement

Keith and I don't fight.

When I tell people this, there is usually the reaction that either I am lying or delusional. Some people have gone so far as to say that if we don't fight, it must mean that our relationship lacks passion; that fighting is "healthy" for relationships.

I disagree. Fighting is not necessary. Or beneficial.

When I say that we don't fight, I don't mean to imply that we never disagree. It would be unrealistic to think that two individuals would agree on everything. There are a multitude of things that we disagree about.

But we don't fight about it.

It's not always easy. Probably more for me, because I get very worked up over things and cry easily.

But we have rules. Rules for disagreements that have prevented us from fighting.

I'm not calling myself a relationship expert. And I'm not bragging. Or saying that my relationship is better than someone else's. But these rules have worked well for us. And I wanted to share them. Just in case.

Here they are..

1. Keep on subject. Don't bring up old arguments. Don't add, "And do you know what else bothers me...?"

2. Don't call names. Ever.

3. Don't attack the other person's occupation.

4. Don't attack the other person's education.

5. Don't attack the other person's family members.

6. Don't break things. Or slam doors.

7. It's okay to leave the room. But don't storm out.

8. If you need to, take a time out. If the conversation is getting heated, just stop talking, wait until you are calmed down, then try again.

9. Avoid talking about topics you disagree about in front of other people (related or not). It may just embarrass the other person and add more emotional fuel to the fire.

10. Don't yell.

I'm sure that I'm making this sound overly simplistic and easy. I'm not saying that. But it gets easier with practice.

Using these rules, we've gone eight years of marriage without a fight. (And please note: I did say fight, not disagreement. Just wanted to clarify that point one more time.)

I'm working on a list of rules about how to approach my children. Because I can get grumpy with them. More than I should. I've raised my voice to my children. While Keith and I have never raised our voices to each other.

(However, it is true that Keith does not color with marker on the furniture, or hit his siblings with baseball bats, or dump bowls of applesauce on the floor. He also does not try walking as slowly as possible when I am in a hurry. Or lick windows in stores.)

I realized just the other day that I need rules for me regarding them.

That's a work in progress.

There is one more things. For when all other rules fail. I love the person sitting across from me. Is winning this disagreement really more important than their feelings?

The goal of our marriage was not to sacrifice things we believe in or feel passionately all for the sake of just being able to say that we've never had a fight. I could just start agreeing with everything Keith says, for no other reason than to keep the peace. But that would make our relationship less meaningful.

The goal was to be able to trust each other enough to feel that we can express our opinion, even when it differs from that of the other person, without being attacked.

That in this world, so full of people treating each other so horribly, that our marriage can be a safe haven.


Cross-posted here.

Wednesday

I hope your Wednesday was as wonderful as mine...

Somewhere to call home

We bought a house!!!

That's right! I matched two and a half weeks ago, and now we have a house.

The speed at which everything is happening is nearly boggling.

Keith and I flew out to Iowa City over the weekends and stayed with a friend from medical school (Thanks so much you guys!).

Knowing that you have a small budget and only two days to find a house is just a little nerve-wracking. I was an emotional basket-case nearly the entire weekend.

At first, it wasn't looking good. What we could afford, we didn't like. Or it was too far away from the university. Or it was in a bad school district. Or it didn't have a yard. Or it needed too much work. I wasn't going to budge on the school district issue. I felt we had to be in a great school area for Roman and Blaise. Keith wasn't going to budge on the amount of work to be done (like, rebuilding half the house.) The first night after house hunting, we almost had our first fight. Almost.

The next day, I was looking at listings in the morning. I wrote several down.

Then we went and re-looked at several of the homes we had liked from the first day. Then I asked the real estate agent if we could look at some from my list.

The very last one on my list, the one I had written down while I was being shoo-ed out the door. That's our house.

Our first house!!

And we got it with our first offer. No counter-offer or anything!!

Okay, the house needs a little work. Think "vision." (Or like Keith says, "Project.")

The front room
(this one and the kitchen need the least work)

The kitchen (with brand new cabinets!)

But seriously, this house is perfect for us. There's enough space, it has a yard, it is right next door to one of the best elementary schools in Iowa City, and it is in a gorgeous neighborhood just two miles from the university.

Our back yard

What we live next to.
Isn't it just gorgeous?

Already, we've starting planning what changes need to happen (immediately: paint, carpet, and lighting; later: siding, windows, basement).

I am so excited!! Let the home-owner adventure begin!

Kitchen Table

It's no secret we don't like our apartment.

In fact, we are Done with apartment living.

We are actually in the process of looking for our very first house!! (In Iowa, of course.) There are no words about how wonderful this is.

Our apartment is bursting at the seams. It's really hard to fit a family of four into a two bedroom, one bath, ~750 square foot space.

Even so, I do have my favorite place. A place with the best light and the least clutter.

And the place where my color scheme is best seen...

Don't you love the colors?
Aqua, apple green, yellow!

So come on over and pull up a chair.

Just please call first, so I can hide the rest of the mess.

Road Kill

Coming back from my brother's and sister's high school play of "Pride and Predjudice," we hit a skunk.

Just my luck. The first skunk I have seen in the wild, well, alive. And now it is road kill. Poor thing.

Our car stinks. At first we didn't smell anything. But 30 seconds later, the smell was so overpowering, my eyes watered. They say that if you get sprayed by a skunk, you should bathe in tomato juice. What if your car gets sprayed? And still stinks 4 days later? I don't know any car wash centers that offer tomato juice cycles.

This is the second animal we have hit.

We hit a deer the day after Christmas.

We hit poor Pepe le Pew the day before Valentine's.


Tell the rabbits to stay off the road around Easter.

Backward Glance 2008

This post really should have been done in December or the first week of January. But better late than never. And I feel that 2009 is still young.

2008 was a year of big changes, small adjustments, and high hopes.

Here's a glance at what 2008 held for us...


I switched specialties. I had been planning on becoming a pediatrician, but had a horrible experience, combined with a wake-up call, and decided to do anesthesiology. And have never regretted the switch.

Roman turned 6!

Blaise turned 2!

Keith decided he wanted to go to dental school. This was a huge change for us. Keith had graduated with a double major in math and physics in Spring of 2007. We thought he was done with school. But dental school meant prerequisites and that meant back to school. Big change (but I couldn't be happier! or prouder!)

Roman started first grade! A true elementary school student! I'm still not sure how he grew up so fast. He also went from kind of reading to reading full books.

We decided to enroll Roman in tennis lessons. Roman found a sport he loved and could do, and we found a new family activity.

The boys switched daycares, which was hard. We still miss their old one. Blaise adapted almost effortlessly, as he is so friendly and happy. Roman...Well, we're still working on it.

I graduated from medical school! So, officially, I can add two initials to my signature. M and D.

Keith and I, after celebrating our 7 year anniversary, took a trip, just the two of us, to Florida with a day in the Bahamas. We snorkeled on a coral reef, saw alligators in the wild, and spent a ridiculous amount of time on the beach. Loved it, sunburn and all.

We decided to try pets again, and killed half a dozen neon tetras before getting a goldfish named Rosy (because "she looks like a girl.") The fish has survived for 5 months and is huge.

I started this blog, and then another. And have become fanatic about them.

Many other things happened, including hiking, museums, other celebrations and births. Everyone grew a little bit and got a little bit older.

And, we hope, a little bit wiser.