Getting Back

I've spent most of the last year convincing myself that I've been too busy to write, too busy to do anything other than just hunker down and survive the overwhelming day to day. Part of that feeling is because blogging isn't just writing- there is a whole social component that goes along with it. And I'm not sure I'm ready to jump into that.

What I do know is that I must start writing again. No necessarily to be read, to be shared, to be commented on, but just to start creating again. Getting back to having something tangible come from my thoughts. Along that same line, I'm hoping to start painting and editing photos again. I've been stifling my creative side for the sake of to-do lists, and it's been unhealthy.

This last year has brought a lot of change. Sometimes, I look at myself and think that the me of even just two years ago would be surprised.

I've started running in earnest. I've run two half marathons this year. I've started trail running. I've gotten over the anxiety of being slow and feel like I can actually call myself a runner.

I've fallen in love with home gardening. My gardening technique is "plant and pray," because I had no real plan or understanding of gardening. Fortunately, my unjustifiable optimism in the spring translated to bountiful harvests nearly all summer.

As a family, we've continued to road trip, to deserts and forests and bright blue lakes.

Bug is nearly as tall as I am.

I would love to say that as a family, we are settling in well with all the changes the last year and a half as brought. But that wouldn't be true. We're struggling getting a social network set up. My boys are struggling making friends. We still feel overwhelmed by the size and scope of being in a bigger city.

So we keep to what works for us, what makes us feel grounded. Dinner times as a family. Long walks in nature.

And for me, getting back to writing.

Our Fall, In Snippets and iPhone Pictures

The days continue to tumble over each other, barely allowing me to come up for air. I keep telling myself that I'm going to stop being busy, that I'm going to stop living each day at this neck break speed, but I can't seem to find the breaks.

That doesn't mean our days are not enjoyable. Even in the hectic pace, we find time for beauty, for fun, and for each other.

Each of these moments deserves its own post; each one of these events should be celebrated. But alas, there's that busy rearing its head again: there is no time for that. There is only time share glimpses. Hopefully, these glimpses allow me to at least capture and hang onto the amazing moments we had this fall.

This fall, Bug and I ran a 5K together. Well, kinda. Bug kicked my butt and finished over three minutes ahead of me.

This fall, Bug competed in his first chess tournament.  He won second place in his age group!

This fall, Monkey joined Boy Scouts. Now we are shoulders deep in outdoor activities and pinewood derby cars and Monkey is delighted by this.

This fall, Hubster and I started a babysitting exchange with some good friends. This has allowed us to go on regular dates with each other. We both really need this.

This fall, there was Halloween and dressing up. Monkey was a ninja. Bug was the Headless Horseman.  They wanted to be "scary." What happened to the cute little costumes?

This fall, we made huge leaf piles and played in the leaves. 

This fall, I ran a 7 mile cross country race in sub-zero temperature. It was awesome and I can't wait to do it again next year.

This fall, we traveled back to Utah and had Thanksgiving with my entire family. This was the first holiday spent with family in over 5 years.

This fall, the boys rode horses for the first time.

 

Maybe I'll eventually figure out this whole taking life slowly thing. And when I do, I may find time to go back and further elaborate on each of this fall events. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just be enjoying whatever our winter brings.

Typical Day

It's been a long time since I've described a typical day around here. Mostly because there are no typical days. Even when the days are blurring into one heavy load that sometimes crushes me into exhaustion, I cannot choose one day that accurately portrays my life.

But today was about as routine as they come. So I'll start with today...

4:50 am: Alarm goes off. I push snooze. I always give myself 5 minutes of snooze. It feels like such a luxury.

4:55 am: Alarm goes off again. No more luxury. Time to get out of bed. I've started getting up a few minutes early to do a few exercises and stretches. Because I'm losing a war with my scale. And with my pants. And so ultimately, with myself. I do crunches, push-ups, and stretches. I check to see if I can still reach my toes. Success.

5:00 am: Enough exercise. 5 minutes is enough. Head to the bathroom. I weigh myself. Okay, 5 minutes isn't enough. I wash my face, put in my contacts, brush my teeth, pretend to do my hair and make-up. Even though my eyes is all that people will see of my face most of the day at work.

5:15 am: Get dressed. Put on deodorant.

5:20 am: Downstairs to make coffee while I put on my compression stockings (don't judge, I stand a lot at my job.) I pack a quick lunch. I'm tempted to grab the delicious leftover broccoli-cheese soup, but I remember that vindictive scale upstairs and pack a grapefruit instead. I also put on my boots, because we got a lot of snow yesterday.

5:25 am: Back upstairs. Kiss a sleeping Hubster, Bug, and Monkey good-bye for the day. Monkey wakes up and wants a hug as well. I hug him tight and hush him back to sleep.

5:27 am: Grab my keys, bag, phone, and coat. Back the car down the driveway. And leave. Everyday I hate the leaving part.

5:37 am: Arrive at the commuter parking lot. Check the weather while I wait for the bus. It says it's cold outside. Yep, already knew that.

5:40 am: Get on the bus. Three of my fellow residents are on the same bus. We talk about what cases we are doing that day.

5:50 am: Arrive the hospital. Walk across the frigid parking garage to the side door I always take. Ride the elevator up.

5:55 am: Change into scrubs. Grab my pager, my stethoscope, my scrub hat, my name badge. Fill my pockets with my phone, several pens, and a marker. Drop my bag off in the resident lounge, put my depressing lunch in the fridge, grab my clipboard with my schedule, and head down to the operating rooms.

6:00 am: Grab supplies from the anesthesia work room. An IV set-up, an extra LMA. Stop by the pharmacy window and check of the drugs for my first patient. Head to my OR.

6:05 am: Get my OR ready. I have a mnemonic I follow every day to make sure I don't miss a thing. Everything I need for airway management is prepared. All the drugs I need are drawn up in labeled syringes. I'm incredibly OCD about my labels. Actually, maybe about everything.

6:30 am: Head upstairs for lecture. Today's lecture is a refresher on obstetric anesthesia.

7:15 am: Lecture is over. I meet with the resident who is rotating through anesthesia right now. We head back down to the ORs. I set up a few more things.

7:30 am: I go to see my first patient, a 40 something female, undergoing a procedure for kidney stones. She's unusual, in the fact that she's otherwise healthy. I don't have many patients this healthy. I introduce myself, talk about the plan for anesthesia, the risks of anesthesia. I answer her questions. I start her IV.

8:00 am: Arrive in the OR with the patient. The nurses ask her a few more questions. I help her move over to the OR bed. I put all the monitors on her. The rotating resident helps. My supervising staff arrives. I give her oxygen while he gives her drugs to drift her off to sleep. Once she's asleep, I place an LMA. We work with the surgical team to position her for her procedure.

8:30 am: The procedure has started. I do some charting. I do my little OCD thing and organize everything, throw away all trash, get everything pretty and clean. I talk to the rotating resident about LMAs: how to use them, their benefits, limitations, indications. I do some more charting. I check the weather. It's still cold.

10:30 am: This first procedure is over. My staff comes to the room. We wake the patient up and take her to recovery (or PACU). I give report to the recovery nurse, write a post-op note. I stop by the pharmacy window to drop of the drugs I didn't use and to check out drugs for my next patient.

10:40 am: Stop by the anesthesia work-room again for a spinal kit for the next patient. Head back to my OR to get everything ready for the next case.

10:50 am: Go see the next patient. This patient is over 90 years old and has a two page long problem list. He is at increased risk of adverse outcomes. We discuss spinal anesthesia and how it would be safer for him, given his lung disease. He stopped his blood thinning medication a week ago and the lab I ordered for him shows that his blood clotting time is at a level safe enough to do a spinal. He agrees.

11 am: Arrive in the OR again with this patient. Put on all the monitors, position the patient for the spinal. The spinal goes smoothly. The patient doesn't feel anything during his procedure and we avoided general anesthesia for him. I sent the rotating resident to lunch and then home for the day.

12:15 pm: This procedure went faster than expected. Take the patient to recovery. He is still numb from the waist down and is requiring some medication to keep his blood pressure up. Give report the to the recovery nurse, put in the order for the blood pressure medication, write a post-op note. Stop by pharmacy again.

12:35 pm: See the next patient. He already has an IV. Talk about the plan, the risks. I say the exact same thing every time. I try to be genuine and personable, but it's just the same speech every day. If I say it out of order, I forget things.

12:45 pm: Arrive in the OR with patient number 3. I offered him a spinal, but he didn't want to be awake. My staff and I drift him to sleep, "induction." Another airway is placed. I do some charting. My staff sends me to lunch.

1:15 pm: Grab a cup of ice water. Arrive in the resident lounge for lunch. Most of the residents have already eaten, but there is usually always someone here. We talk about how our days are going. We complain about how tired we are. We complain about the new scrubs. We share stories, trying to make each other laugh. I eat my grapefruit. I look at my cases for the next day. Two oral surgery cases. My favorite kind. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

1:45 pm: Time to head back to the OR. The case is finishing up.

2:15 pm: Wake this patient up and take him to recovery. Report, note, pharmacy, OR. Rinse and repeat.

2:30 pm: Meet the last patient for the day. Say the same things. Do the same things.

2:45 pm: Arrive with last patient in the OR. Say the same things. Do the same things. Notice how cold it is in the OR. Check the weather. It hasn't changed. Check my e-mail. My schedule for the rest of residency is done. This excites, scares, overwhelms, and depresses me. I don't know why it does any of those things. Keeping one eye on the patient and the monitors, I play a round of Words with Friends. I'm losing. I do some study questions. This OR is freezing.

4:oo pm: This case feels like it's taking forever. Luckily, the patient has been very stable throughout the entire procedure.

4:15 pm: The surgeon announces suddenly that they are done with the case. Page my staff. Wake the patient up. Go to recovery. Report, note, pharmacy.

4:30 pm: Go back to the resident lounge. Do a happy dance as I enter because originally my cases were scheduled to go until 6 pm and we finished early. This never happens. I call the staff I'm working with tomorrow to discuss the two patients we have tomorrow. I'm excited for the cases.

4:50 pm: Go to the locker room, change out of scrubs and into normal clothes.

5:00 pm: Catch the bus back to the commuter lot. It is light outside and this is deliciously refreshing after not arriving home until after 7 for the last 5 work days. I call my mom and my sister, but don't get hold of anyone.

5:10 pm: Arrive in the commuter lot. Plug in my iPod to listen to happy music on the way home. Get stuck in small-town Iowa version of traffic.

5:30 pm: Arrive home. Do another happy dance for being home so early. I hug Monkey, Bug, and Hubster. Hubster is still in his scrubs from dental school; he only got home 10 minutes before I did.

5:45 pm: Make dinner. Tonight is corn and tofu lettuce wraps. I debate on lying to the boys about the tofu. But it's already written on the menu, so they'd know.

6:15 pm: Finally get everyone up to the table for dinner. Monkey has to get down three times: once for a straw, once for a napkin, and once to give me a hug. It's hard to get mad at that. I ask everyone about their day. Sometimes, this is like pulling teeth. But today, they excited about a game they played in P.E.

6:40 pm: The "how many bites" bargaining begins. I usually win by setting the first bid ridiculously high. Tonight is more successful than most. The boys have already eaten most their food. Hubster disappears upstairs to start studying. He has a test tomorrow.

6:45 pm: Encourage the boys to do their chores. Get Bug to practice his violin and do his spelling. We sing silly songs for each of his spelling words.

7:oo pm: Do dishes. Rinse out coffee mug so it's ready for tomorrow morning. Sit on the couch and just feel tired. Get sucked into the internet while the boys chase each other in circles. I read e-mail, Facebook, news, Pinterest, blogs. I shouldn't, but I do.

7:45 pm: The boys' game of tag has turned into a pillow fight. Send the boys to get in their pajamas and brush their teeth. For some reason, this is the longest part of the day. They don't want to get in their pajamas, since it's interrupting their play. But finally, Bug sets the good example and Monkey soon follows. They come downstairs for story time.

8:15 pm: Start reading. I say two stories, but like every other night, it ends up being three. You win some, you lose some. And if this is the one I lose, I'm fine with it. We read Dr. Seuss, a story of a monster, and a story about shadows.

8:40 pm: It's already past bedtime. Monkey is starting to get cranky. He goes upstairs to bother Hubster, who is still studying. I'm starting to feel really tired, but I have to read to Bug. He looks forward to this so much. I read to Bug, with him cuddled next to me, laughing at the funny parts. We are reading a novel about Ancient Egypt. We Google parts of the book we don't know. It's history lesson and reading all in one.

9:05 pm: I give Bug a piggy back ride upstairs to his room. I collect Monkey from next to Hubster and tuck him in bed. As Hubster comes in to their room to join us for bedtime prayer, Monkey starts sharing the fact he can now do subtraction. Which sets Bug off on the probability he is learning in math. We have to shush them for prayer. The last thing I say is, "We are not discussing negative numbers at this time of night."

9:15 pm: Finally, we have prayer. I kiss them both goodnight. Hubster stays and sings to Monkey. This is their thing together.

9:20 pm: Wash my face, take out my contacts, brush my teeth, change into some sweats.

9:25 pm: Sit with my laptop and two anesthesia text books in front of the TV. I blog. I haven't blogged in a while. It feels good. I watch a show from the DVR. I read a section from my anesthesia book. I talked a while ago that I was going to stop all this multi-tasking. It isn't possible. I have to do all these things at once, or I don't get to do them at all.

10:30 pm: Head upstairs. Kiss my sleeping boys good night. Every night, I make sure the last thing I do before getting into bed is kiss them. Even though Bug is so far over against the far side of his top bunk, that his kiss is delivered from my fingertips to his cheek.

10:32 pm: Hubster is still studying. He offers to move his books out of the bedroom and study in the office. But we don't get much time together, so I'm happy to have him nearby, even if the light is on and he's studying instead of snuggling. I should go straight to sleep, but I play a round of Words with Friends. I read part of a chapter in my book.

10:50 pm: Fall asleep. 6 hours before it all starts again.

As far as days go, this was a great day. I was home in time to cook dinner. I had down time. I got to read with my boys. I didn't fall asleep during dinner. My cases at work went very well.

I had planned on writing about last Thursday or Friday. Those were bad days and part of me wants to share my bad days, wear them like military stripes of what I survived. But I don't want to keep reliving the bad days. When I look back and read this again, I'm hoping that I can remember my days being like this perfectly typical day. Story time with my boys. Talking about math at bedtime. Dinner all together. There will be days that will be better and days that will be worse. And hopefully, there will be more of these typical days.

Kitchen Window

Happiness is...


The view from my kitchen window.

Not that watching my boys playing tag makes me like doing dishes any more, but it sure improves my mood while I do them.

Visit Leigh vs Laundry for 52 Weeks of Happiness and post a photo of something that makes you happy.

Sunday

This Sunday was cool and rainy.

This Sunday consisted of...

Early morning rising for a 6 hour shift in the ICU.

Mangoes for breakfast when I got home...


Banana bread for mid-afternoon snack...


Funny faces...


A drive through the countryside (because that's exactly what it is here in Iowa...countryside)...

Forgetting my camera on the drive...

Blanket houses with a huge stack of library books...

A short nap on the couch...And then being bounced awake...

Spaghetti squash for dinner...

Overall, I'd call this a pretty good day.

Not Me! Monday: Back at Work

Thank goodness for the blogosphere. Otherwise, I would never know what day it was. Even if I did NOT go back to work today after a week of vacation.

I am NOT upset at all about being back at work. I would be completely bored if I stayed home. Right?

And right now, there is NO WAY that I am blogging at work. I am much too professional for that and jump right on my work. I do NOT post-pone reading ICU chest x-rays. I would never. Nope, not me.

I am NOT totally regretting just asking if I could get extra days off for boards instead of using up my vacation studying for and taking them. I am a completely forward, upfront person and always just ask. And I do NOT have a mini panic attack everytime I think about my board scores and whether or not I passed.

I DID NOT gain 3 pounds over the last week. I would NEVER use stress of boards, and then vacation, as an excuse to eat junk food and ice cream. And there is absolutely NO way that, after six months of not eating beef, that I ate a hamburger last night. I would stick to my diet no matter how delicious a portabella and swiss burger sounded.

Bug and I did NOT spend nearly four hours playing Wii together yesterday. I am always good at finding very productive, non-computer/television-based activities for my children to do. And, even if that were true, there is NO way I would do a victory dance when I beat Hubster's Rhythm Kung-Fu score. I am always very classy and a very good sport.

I knew that I had to wake up early this morning, so I DID NOT stay up late watching Revolutionary Road. And since Hubster had no interest in seeing the movie, I would NEVER lure him into the family room with ice cream. I did NOT cry during the movie. I never do things like that.

I am NOT completely dreading February. I do NOT dread overnight call and internal medicine more than anything.

How about you? Anything you DID NOT do this last week? Stop by MckMama to see what everyone else hasn't been doing.

Random thoughts about this week.

-I am still very sad about the events in Haiti. The pictures are heart breaking. There is a group of physicians from my hospital leaving for Haiti this weekend. I wish I could be part of it.

-I wish that I liked Radiology. But sitting alone in a dark room dictating just isn't my cup of tea.

-The Christmas decorations are still up.

-I wish my Wii Fit age was real. How nice would it be to be getting younger?

-Hubster just started volunteering for Habitat for Humanity here in Iowa. Maybe someday we will get to build houses together.

-My vacation started tonight! Too bad the first part of it is going to be overshadowed by more board study.

-Boards are on Wednesday. Every time I think I can't study any more, I realize I have to. But 4-5 hours of studying a day are wearing me out. I've really lost my touch since I started medical school.

-We neglected to do laundry until everyone ran out of socks. After Hubster washed the socks, I put them away. I mated over 50 pairs of socks yesterday morning. I hate mating socks.

-I'm going to make crepes tomorrow.

-We've used our fireplace every single night this week. It is delightful.

-It reached 36 degrees yesterday. It was down right balmy.

-So far, I've lost 2 pounds. But my weight seems to fluctuate quite a bit, so I'm not counting my chickens yet. But am still optimistic.

-Starting a blog for the second time is much easier than doing it the first time. I wrote for nearly six months before I got a single comment on my first blog. Now, I get comments with every post. I love you guys!

-I may not like Radiology, but when my attending told me I had perfectly read a chest x-ray, it still made me pretty happy.

-We use voice recognition software in Radiology. I must talk strange, because I don't understand why when I say "exam" it spells out "circle of Willis." Other "misunderstandings." "Pulmonary" becomes "Coleman." "Desaturation" becomes "hole in the stranding." And for the life of me, I can't get the program to type "at." I try and try. I get "and," "and the," "to," even "pound." But never "at."

-Hubster registered for a blog domain this week. I'm not sure he will ever use it. But he should, because he is hilarious. Even if he types slower than glaciers move.

-Monkey has slept dry three nights this week! Progress!

-Revolutionary Road is on demand. I will be watching it this weekend. Mostly likely with a box of tissues.

-I've been overly emotional this week. I think the stress and winter are getting to me.

How was your week?

Full

Most of the time, I feel like our house is filled with stacks of unwashed dishes, piles of half-finished laundry, sand-filled shoes, books on the floor, paper airplanes stuck behind the couch, bouncy balls stuck behind the bookshelf, half eaten apples, untouched tuna sandwiches, too many text books, piles of junk mail, half-finished home improvement projects, unbalanced check books, missing coats, and "hurry, hurry, hurry."

But sometimes, I have a chance to clear my head, take a deep breath, and actually look.

And then I realize that our house is actually a home.

And it is filled with bedtime stories, extra marshmallows for hot cocoa, doors that open as soon as I get home, laughter, slobbery kisses, hugs around the knees, Candyland, bright shiny blue eyes, high fives for everything, jumping as high as you can, socks that slide perfectly, the chance to be a hero, stuffed animals that are real, memories, noses pressed against windows, stacks of artwork, snuggles, and love.

Oh, and a whole bunch of silliness!

This Week and Next...

This week, I...

-finally got a day off after working 13 days in a row.

-switched from services from Surgical Intensive Care Unit to Cardiology Intensive Care Unit. Intern year is like having a new job every month. I don't do anything long enough to feel comfortable.

-went 48 hours without sleeping.

-then slept for 13 hours straight.

-got a new couch for our family room. After all, two months of watching TV on the floor is enough.

-make cookies with Roman and Blaise.

Every post must have pictures, so today, you get cookies.

-Placed a Swan-Ganz catheter, a catheter that measures pressures in a patient's right heart and pulmonary arteries, for the first time. A completely awesome procedure!

-Went pumpkin picking. And forgot my camera.

-Got the heater/cooler/windows/fan fixed in my car, just in time for weather to turn cold. Okay, Keith did this one.

-Watched snow fall from the window of a patient's room

-Balanced my checkbook.

-Yelled at the TV during a college football game.

-Make mashed cauliflower, which made the boys throw up at the table. I thought it tasted fine.

-Fell in love with my boys all over again.




This coming week, I plan on...

-Raking leaves.

-Celebrating Keith's birthday (two days late, because I am on call on his birthday. Boo.)

-Buying Keith a book for his birthday, and then hurry and read it.

-Carving pumpkins.

-Calling my sister.

-Going for a walk in the fall leaves. If it warms up just a little.

-Missing college football due to taking call on a Saturday.

-Considering opening my cardiology tutorial CD.

-Submitting a receipt for a ridiculously expensive textbook to hopefully get reimbursed.

-Kissing my boys after they fall asleep every night I am home.

Pass It On

Gina gave me this award several days ago, and due to my horrific schedule and the fact that I felt the need to sleep for more than four hours in a row made it so I was unable to recognize the award until today.


Thanks, Gina. Gina, like myself, is the mother of a darling little boy and she's a speech pathologist/teacher. If you're not reading her, you should be.

Okay, now for the rules.
1) Thank the person who gave this to you!
2) Copy the logo and place it in your blog!
3) Link the person who nominated you!
4) Name 7 things about yourself that no one would really know.
5) Nominate 7 Kreativ Bloggers.
6) Post links to the 7 blogs you nominate.
7) Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them!

I'm pretty sure that over one year of blogging has made it so there aren't too many big things that people don't know about me. (And if there are, no one is going to find out any time soon. Ha.)
But I'm sure that I can think of something...

1. I used to play the flute (and violin, and piano...). But unfortunately, due to demands of school, work, and parenting, it's just fallen by the way. Although, I do occasionally play a few carols around Christmas.

2. I hate dresses and skirts. I have worn a skirt maybe twice in the last year.

3. I kept a journal every day for nearly 6 years. My writing filled multiple notebooks. Now there is a box in our basement full of those old journals and diaries. I stopped writing a little after I got married, and I always felt guilty about it. I think that is why blogging is so appealing to me.

4. After Roman was born, my hair started to get darker. That's when I started dyeing my hair and adding highlights. I don't think my dad knows. Every once and a while, he'll say, "I love that your hair is still the same color it was when you were a little girl." And I just say thank you.

5. I take a LOT of pictures of my boys. I have thousands of pictures on my external hard drive. So, if you ever feel that I have posts with image overload, just realize that I'm holding back.

6. I love books. And I never get rid of them. I have many full bookshelves, and I can't bear to think of getting rid of a single one.

7. I'm still on the look out for the next great chick flick. I haven't liked any since "Return to Me" and "You've Got Mail." If you have any good ideas, I'm dying to know.

And now, for the next part...the nominations.

First, some of my truly favorite blogs (that were not already nominated.)

Tia at Clever Girl Goes Blog
MckMama at My Charming Kids
Christian at ModObjects at Home
Sobrina at Quiet Like Horses

That's four. The next nominations are for people I think are unbelievably creative. Now, if only they would write just a little bit more.

Bonnie at I Think I naC
Emma Lily at What Would David Bowie Do
Trina at Trinabug's Life

Every day, something new

Before we moved to Iowa (and even after we moved), we were cautioned that it was a "boring" place to live.

Well, we're still waiting to be bored.

The great thing about the city we will in is the summer arts program. Each week, all summer, that are free weekly concerts downtown, movies in the park, plays in the riverside theater, and art festivals. Due to our schedules and our current unwillingness to haul the boys around in public, we didn't do any of those things this summer. We plan on doing most of them next summer.

But last weekend, as part of the summer arts program, there was a sand castle competition downtown. Yep, sand castles in the Midwest. It was definitely something to take the boys to.





After we viewed the sand sculpting contest, the boys had their own opportunity to play in the sand.



We headed for home, sandy, sticky from cotton candy, and sporting the beginning of beach-worthy sunburns.

I have started my Surgical Intensive Care Unit (or SICU) rotation. I've been more worried about this one than any other. The patients are very sick and require care that I sometimes feel is above my level of training. The schedule is demanding, requiring overnight in-hospital call every third night. I took my first overnight call last night. I was almost as excited that I made it out alive as I was that all my patients did okay overnight as well.

After being awake for 33 hours straight, I came home and collapsed into bed.

I was awoken at 6:30 by Keith who announced that he had "tried something new" for dinner. I stumbled downstairs to be greeted by a beautifully set table and a serving of hot, Parmesan cheese covered, home-made gnocchi.

Keith had made gnocchi.

By himself.

And it was delicious.

I feel like I should write this in all caps to express the complete amazing-ness of it all.

Keith, who never cooks, who got stressed out if I suggested he make scrambled eggs or a salad by himself. Keith, who I didn't even think knew where the cookbooks were kept in our kitchen. That same Keith made blonde brownies two days ago and then spent 2 1/2 hours making gnocchi tonight. GNOCCHI! Something I haven't even attempted.

Who are you and what have you done with my husband?

Hair Cuts

Between residency starting, working on our home, and just plain having fun exploring our new surroundings, some things got moved to the bottom of the to-do list.

Meaning that Blaise and Roman have spent several weeks looking looking a little scruffy. Blaise especially started looking like a little sheep dog.

The Before

So with both boys' hair hanging in their eyes and combing hair in the morning become more of a "snarl-and-tangle" fest, we made our way to get haircuts.

Roman, in typical fashion, didn't say a word to his stylist, except, "Fine," when asked how he liked his hair cut.

Blaise sat in the chair by himself and didn't even whimper once (not even when the clippers came out.)

No more hair impairing their vision. No more, um, nearly mullets (hey, Blaise's hair just seems to grow a little faster in the back) or Elvis sideburns. And they both look pretty happy about their new dos.

The After

What did you do?

This is what I came home to after work today.

If you can't tell, this previously was an industrial sized roll of toilet paper that we found in our bathroom when removing the old vanity. Now it is a huge mess. And please ignore the fact that our master bedroom flooring is carpet pad, sans carpet. That is scheduled to change.

"Blaise, what did you do!?"

"Nothing. My cars did it. The toilet paper was bad!"

Sigh.

It doesn't appear that the terrible twos will be ending anytime soon.

Because dishes DO NOT do themselves

So after a very long time, I've decided to participate in the blog festival that is "Not Me! Mondays" created by MckMama. I've read these posts on many of my favorite blogs, but have never had a reason to participate...


Until now! I can't think of a better way to sum up this week then "NOT ME!"

Things are crazy when you're moving. Everyone knows that. Add a apparently not-so-minor home renovation on top of that, and, well, we've just approached a whole new level of craziness.

But even with that, every girl has her limits.

I DID NOT leave the dishes undone and piling up in the sink. Keith DID NOT feel obliged to mention the insane amount of dishes. Because I am always on top of housework. And Keith doesn't mind a little craziness.

And then, while I was NOT adding a seventh layer of paint to the trim, the dishes DID NOT do themselves. Or did they...?


I DO NOT hate trim. Because painting seven layers of glossy white paint on trim is fun.

I DID NOT cry when we pulled back the carpet in the family room.


Because we DID NOT find mold. We DID NOT find water. Our family room does NOT leak every time it rains. Who would buy a house like that? Not me.

I DID NOT get a massive sunburn on my back and arms and shoulders when we were at the lake. Because everyone knows that I'm obsessive about sunscreen. I still DO NOT think it was a glorious day.

I DID NOT panic when I came home from my lab coat fitting and found this in our master bedroom.


Because I am always very calm. I was perfectly aware that fixing the floor joist was going to be a big project. So I absolutely DID NOT freak out at the size of the hole.

I AM NOT having moments of complete panic about being a resident and all the responsibility that goes along with it. I AM NOT having moments of terror when I think about being in the ER next week. Because I am a calm individual and and completely prepared for residency.

I AM NOT blogging instead of making dinner. I would never do that.

What have you not done this week? Head over to MckMama to see what everyone else hasn't done?

Let the countdown begin

We closed on our home today!

We are real home owners now. We are saying goodbye to apartment living. Goodbye to sharing walls and floors, and ceilings with people. Goodbye to too little space and too many restrictions.

With the joy of closing, comes the not so joyful start of packing.

Keith and I have spent the last two days cleaning appliances, carpets, and blinds. We seriously better get our deposit back.

(And why do you have to pay an extra deposit for having a pet, but not a two year old. I bet the neighbor's tabby cat never colors on the wall with marker. And I doubt that basset make dents in the hall wall with a golf club.)

I'm sitting here tonight surround by bare walls, empty bookcases, and stacks of boxes.

The next time I open these boxes will be when we're finally home.

Rules of Engagement

Keith and I don't fight.

When I tell people this, there is usually the reaction that either I am lying or delusional. Some people have gone so far as to say that if we don't fight, it must mean that our relationship lacks passion; that fighting is "healthy" for relationships.

I disagree. Fighting is not necessary. Or beneficial.

When I say that we don't fight, I don't mean to imply that we never disagree. It would be unrealistic to think that two individuals would agree on everything. There are a multitude of things that we disagree about.

But we don't fight about it.

It's not always easy. Probably more for me, because I get very worked up over things and cry easily.

But we have rules. Rules for disagreements that have prevented us from fighting.

I'm not calling myself a relationship expert. And I'm not bragging. Or saying that my relationship is better than someone else's. But these rules have worked well for us. And I wanted to share them. Just in case.

Here they are..

1. Keep on subject. Don't bring up old arguments. Don't add, "And do you know what else bothers me...?"

2. Don't call names. Ever.

3. Don't attack the other person's occupation.

4. Don't attack the other person's education.

5. Don't attack the other person's family members.

6. Don't break things. Or slam doors.

7. It's okay to leave the room. But don't storm out.

8. If you need to, take a time out. If the conversation is getting heated, just stop talking, wait until you are calmed down, then try again.

9. Avoid talking about topics you disagree about in front of other people (related or not). It may just embarrass the other person and add more emotional fuel to the fire.

10. Don't yell.

I'm sure that I'm making this sound overly simplistic and easy. I'm not saying that. But it gets easier with practice.

Using these rules, we've gone eight years of marriage without a fight. (And please note: I did say fight, not disagreement. Just wanted to clarify that point one more time.)

I'm working on a list of rules about how to approach my children. Because I can get grumpy with them. More than I should. I've raised my voice to my children. While Keith and I have never raised our voices to each other.

(However, it is true that Keith does not color with marker on the furniture, or hit his siblings with baseball bats, or dump bowls of applesauce on the floor. He also does not try walking as slowly as possible when I am in a hurry. Or lick windows in stores.)

I realized just the other day that I need rules for me regarding them.

That's a work in progress.

There is one more things. For when all other rules fail. I love the person sitting across from me. Is winning this disagreement really more important than their feelings?

The goal of our marriage was not to sacrifice things we believe in or feel passionately all for the sake of just being able to say that we've never had a fight. I could just start agreeing with everything Keith says, for no other reason than to keep the peace. But that would make our relationship less meaningful.

The goal was to be able to trust each other enough to feel that we can express our opinion, even when it differs from that of the other person, without being attacked.

That in this world, so full of people treating each other so horribly, that our marriage can be a safe haven.


Cross-posted here.

Another list of Eight

My friend, todavine, tagged me on her blog with an 8 meme.

It's no secret that I love a meme, but I usually do them on my personal blog, since this is technically a blog for keeping in touch with family and friends.

But this one just works here.

So, Here are the rules.
1. Mention the person who tagged you (Check)
2. Complete the list of 8's (In progress)
3. Tag 8 other bloggers
4. Tell them they have been tagged

Eight Things I Look Forward To:
1. Moving into our first house
2. Not living in an apartment ever again
3. Finishing residency (I know that this one is four years away, but there was not a time limit given.)
4. Watching the boys play in their first backyard
5. Seeing my first firefly (I hear they have them in Iowa)
6. Finishing potty training
7. Getting a cat
8. Buying a digital SLR camera

Eight Things I Wish I Could Do
1. Travel to Europe
2. Take the boys back to San Diego
3. Sleep for two days straight
4. Get someone else to clean my house
5. Lose a lot of weight
6. Work part-time someday
7. Have a house on the beach
8. Be a better cook

Eight Shows I Watch
1. Lost
2. Survivor
3. The Amazing Race
4. Chopped (Food Network)
5. Monk
6. Psych
7. Mythbusters
8. Little Einsteins

Eight Restaurants I Eat At:
1. Sweet Tomatoes
2. Sconecutter
3. McDonald's
4. Wendy's
5. Olive Garden
6. Panda Express
7. Costco (okay, not technically a restaurant, but I do love their churros.)
8. Taco Bell

Eight of My Quirks:
1. I don't like ketchup and the lettuce on the same side of the hamburger
2. I occasionally talk in my sleep
3. Cooking stresses me out
4. I color-code everything
5. I organize things by color as well
6. I can't really spell, so I'm grateful for spellcheck
7. I have a hard time throwing things away
8. I hate clothes shopping

Eight Friends I Am Tagging:
I have eight followers, so if you all do this, I think that covers it.

Eight Things I Did Yesterday
1. Sign the papers on our house, then ship them back in time for the closing
2. Go on a picnic with my sister
3. Watch Keith take our washer apart
4. Make popcorn
5. Not blog
6. Go swimming as a family
7. Make fajitas
8. Sang along to Disney songs with my boys

Okay, your turn. (And please leave a comment here if you actually do it. Because I'm nosy curious.

A Case of the Grumps

A bad bug has been going through our family the last couple days.

That is...a bad case of the grumps.

The moment I walked into Blaise's room this morning, he started yelling. "I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want breakfast. Go away. Go AWAY!"

If I have the gall to say no to Roman, he has been falling on the floor in tears and screaming, "You don't let me do anything. You are always trying to keep me from doing anything!"

And by saying no, I mean, no, you can't stay up until 11 pm. No, you can't eat that entire package of Reese''s Pieces by yourself. No, we are not going to Disneyland this week.

Blaise's word of the week is "Stupid!" And he has been using it very generously.

Right at this moment he is screaming from his bed that he doesn't want to go to school. It's stupid!

And let's just say that this current bug is slightly contagious. It's hard to be screamed at all day for three days without, um, um... yeah.

I'm not going to deny that there have been very cute things over the last several days.

So, if you'll just all hang tight until I'm in the mood to share them.

Wednesday

I hope your Wednesday was as wonderful as mine...