Should Have

I know there should have been a Mother's Day post. 

I know I should tell you all about the book Monkey made for me at school, where he drew a picture of me asleep on the couch in front of the TV, and said I like to listen to "Dynamite" and that I make really good macaroni and cheese out of a box.

I know I should tell you how much I love my boys and how wonderful Hubster is and how much I like being a mom. 

No, not like.  How much I love being a mom.

But like everything else, it crept up on me too fast.

In fact, I may have missed it altogether, forgotten it completely,  had it not been for the roses on the table and the huge bear hugs Sunday morning.

There should have been a Mother's Day post, and thanks to my boys, there is.

Change and Maintain

Things are changing 'round these parts.  Changing pretty quickly.

Spring has flown by.  All the new flowers, the quiet little violets and graceful lilies have wilted.

 

They have given way to the strong blooms of early summer.

The school year is almost over. Monkey will be done with kindergarten.  Bug will be done with fourth grade.

Our nanny will be leaving us.  I'm completely broken up about this.  She has become nearly a member of the family. I almost want to pull the boys out of their (much more affordable) after school program just so that the nanny can stick around.

My little sister is moving in with us. In just over a week actually. We still haven't cleaned out the extra bedroom for her.  That means packing up all my books. Although that is a small sacrifice to have my sister here to help out (and hopefully be helped out.)

Hubster is nearly done with his first year of dental school.  Obviously, he's gotten amazing grades in all his courses so far.  I never expected less.  Next year comes with more strenuous studies.

I'm just about to start my last year of residency.  I'm starting to act as a senior resident.  I'd say I was stressed about this, but then you'd have to ask, "What's new?"

Things are changing.

Just as fast as the trees shook off their frail blossoms and gave way to heavy loads of summer leaves.

Throughout this, my focus has been on maintaining.  Maintaining my sanity, our family dinners, story time, health.

Breath in.  Breath out.

Maintain.

Change.

Catching Butterflies

With warm days and flowers - bushes, trees, shrubs, hedges, fields full of flowers - come the butterflies.

And with the butterflies, come two little boys with butterfly nets and tireless legs.


 Countless butterflies were caught, examined, exclaimed over, and then let free.

I wish every day could be filled with warmth, sunshine, and butterfly nets.

Nerdy

I majored in biology with a minor in chemistry. Hubster double majored in mathematics and physics. We are both in health care related fields. Our favorite game to play together is Trivial Pursuit.  We have more textbooks in our house than we do movies.

We're nerds.

And not only are we completely okay with that, we are raising our children to be nerds.

Hubster and the boys spend an entire evening constructing a home made battery.

Our idea of a fun weekend activity is creating a baking soda volcano.

Our favorite outings involve museums.

We bought the boys Venus fly traps instead of candy for Valentine's Day. We regularly catch flies and feed them to the plants and talk about photosynthesis and how this is different.

Family movie night is actually usually family Discovery Channel show night.

We read as a family all the time, and not just fiction. We read books about animals, lightening, and space.

Between the conversations about cloud shapes and weather, the differences between butterflies and moths, the fact that there really are imaginary numbers, we are doing a pretty good job of raising our own little nerds.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Super Hero

If a boy can't walk around the city in big yellow boots and super hero cape when he is 5, when can he do it?

Sometimes, I think 5 is the very best age.   No self-consciousness, no anxiety.  Just being exactly who you are.

Which today, was a super hero.

Monkey, Version 3.12

Dear Monkey,

It seems we are having a few too many waking up on the wrong side of the bed, horrible, terrible, no good days.  You say your legs are too tired to get out bed, mope over your breakfast, whimper over hair combing and teeth brushing, and drag your feet all the way to school.

I keep wondering where my giggling, bouncy happy eyed boy it.  I feel that maybe I lost him between the last 13 hour work day and the weekend call shift.  Maybe the sunny faced morning boy has been gone a long time, and it's just these past couple weeks of being home in the morning have let me realize that.

But no, I don't believe it.

I still see your sunshine, when you show me your drawings from school.  When you show me how long you can balance on your scooter or how high you can swing on the swing in the back yard. 

You are still there. 

I just need to remember that being five is hard.  All the expectations have changed. You are still so little, little enough to need a stool to stand on when you brush your teeth and little enough to need help with your socks occasionally.  But you are also big.  Big enough to have chores and big enough to start reading and big enough to almost, almost beat your brother in a foot race (or at least to want to beat your brother.)  This age of being stuck between little and big is difficult.  Difficult for you, wanting to be independent, but still wanting help.  Difficult for us, knowing which time is which.

Being five is a tough job. And sometimes that equates to grumpy, pouty, very bad days.

But don't worry.  I still love you, no matter how many meals you refuse, no matter how many time outs there are in a day, no matter how long it takes to get dressed in the morning.  

You are my sunshine.

Even when you stomp off, shouting you are NOT my sunshine.

Even then, I love you.

Love,
Mom

Full Bloom

After a mild winter, spring came early.  This is absolutely the ideal scenario. Spring came so early, so quickly, and so fully here, that it felt as if it had been lying just under the surface of the cold, desperate to break through.  Once it decided to burst from the ground, nothing could hold it back.

It is not even April, and all ready the daffodils are nearly passed, and there are already buds on the lilac bushes.

The world was gray and bare and now, it is covered in the lush green mist of new leaves.

Each twig is in full bloom.

All the color, the freshness, the newness of everything...it almost makes spring my favorite season.

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