Thursday, May 27, 2010

Nine Year Journey

Yesterday marked nine years of marriage for Hubster and me.

I was too busy actually celebrating it to have any time to write about it yesterday. Between begging my way out of work early, buying a cardigan to accent my new dress (which is fabulous, by the way), locking myself out of my car, then rushing home to get ready, I was rather busy during the day. Then between a romantic dinner at a great restaurant, an amazing dessert, and a movie, the evening and night were equally busy.

It sounds strange to say nine years. Because nine years is a long time. But it feels like those years are slipped by, no, raced by in a heartbeat, and I'm still the same young girl in a white dress walking towards the love of my life.

I could write about the things that we've done during our marriage. But I've done that. I could post some of the reasons I absolutely adore Hubster. But I've done that. I could write about our wedding, and how grateful I am that how things start off don't predict how things end up. But I've also done that. I could write about our relationship and what we do to keep it so healthy. But, you guessed it...I've done that too.

So, what to write about?

Well, since nine years is a long time (and I think it sounds like such a long time because next year will be ten years and that is a landmark anniversary, and we sure aren't old enough for that!)...anyways.

Since nine years is a long time, I should have learned some things about marriage and relationships along the way. While I'm not an expert, I think I have learned a few things. I would say that I'll share with you the top ten things I learned, but I don't know how many I'll come up with, so we'll just go with the flow.

~Your partner will change with time. You will change with time. Expect it.

~No matter how great the start of the relationship way, no matter how passionately in love you are, eventually that "new-relationship feeling," it goes away. You might not get dizzy and lightheaded anymore when he touches the small of your back, your heart rate might not skip a beat when he kisses you. This doesn't mean that the love you share is any less. Only more comfortable.

~Friendship should be the basis of your relationship. There will be times when you don't feel romantic. You should always have the friendship to go back to.

~Marriage can be tough. You should always have Something Bigger Than You to rely on. Because, I promise, there will be times when love isn't enough. (Which gets back to friendship, as well.)

~Between the kids, the jobs, the house, the relatives, it will be easy to forget about your relationship. Time together won't just happen. Take the time, make the effort to work on your relationship. Schedule time together.

~Realize what matters. There are times when Hubster stacking papers by his bed or squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle drives me crazy. But does it matter? No. Be willing to let those things go, so you can focus on what does matter.

~Be interested in what they are interested in. I used to care less about sports. But I learned to watch (and now love) football. Hubster was not a reader, but started reading books that I couldn't stop talking about. It gives us even more time together and more things to bond over.

~Recognize the need for space. You don't have to spend every single second together. Spending time apart doesn't mean you love each other less. Hubster loves golf. I've chosen to not take up golf and go with him, because that's his time. He always comes back refreshed and happy. I blog. Hubster leaves me alone while I blog (and he has also decided to not read my I'm free to say whatever I want about him.)

I really tried to come up with nine, because nine things in nine years seemed good. But right now, only eight are coming to mind.

So, there you have it. My insight into marriage after nine years of it.

But I can't leave it there.

I have to say that I'm a better person because of my relationship with Hubster. While it seems surreal that we've already reached this point in our marriage, looking back, I feel that I've always known him. Sometimes, I feel that I've even rewritten my pre-Hubster memories to include him.

I'm a braver person because of Hubster. There are so many things I wanted to do, but I don't think I would have done any of them before, because the thought of doing them alone was terrifying. Now, no matter what I end up doing, I know that I won't do it alone. That thought alone gives me courage.

Thanks, Hubster (even if you don't read this.) Thank you for coming along in this journey with me. I couldn't ask for a better travel partner.


  1. Happy Anniversary!!! Every day I too am thankful for your hubster, for his patience, insight and understanding. I don't think I could have hand picked better than you did. Feeling the happiness of that envelope of years is a golden gift indeed. I'm so glad you had a wonderful celebration! Hugs to you and hubster from here!!!

  2. I love your list of 8 things you learned about marriage. All are so true and some of them I struggle with. You two are lucky to have each other and look at the amazing life you have built together...Bug and Monkey are so blessed to have such loving and wonderful parents, but also parents have such a great relationship. They can look at your marriage one day when they are looking for their travel partner!


  3. Happy happy 9th anniversary! Wise words you have written.

    Stopping by from SITS! Have a great weekend with your boys!