Friday, June 1, 2012

Flashback Friday: Finding Out

What?!  It's June?  How did that happen?  I'm still several months behind and am slowly, slowing working on getting back into the swing of things.

Part of getting back to normal is get back into blogging. And Karen, at A Peek at Karen's World, has offered me a great way to do this with little effort - Flashback Friday, re-posting over the summer some of our favorite posts.

Confession Wednesday Button

Going through this whole pregnancy thing again has made me realize a lot of things, currently a lot of miserable things. But I know that there are wonderful things too.  Which made me think of this post, first published February 2, 2009.


Every parent has thought it.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?!!"

It can be about anything.

For me, it pretty much started a week after I found out I was pregnant with my first. I had seen my mom be horrifically sick throughout her pregnancies. But I went into my first with enough naivety and optimism that it never crossed my mind that I too could be sick enough to not want people to talk about food around me.

On a nearly minutely basis I would wail, "Oh, why didn't anyone tell me how bad it would be?"

I said the same thing about the weight gain, the stretch marks, the ankle swelling, and the inability to sleep.

My mom would only say one thing. "Well, if I told you, would you have ever wanted to have kids?"

Parenthood is pretty much the same way. The crying, the (not)sleeping, the teething, potty-training, terrible twos, sibling rivalry.

Parents who've been through it just smile sympathetically at you as you stand over your child, who is face down and bawling on the floor of the cereal isle.

And we think, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

But thinking back, everyone did. Okay, no one took me aside, sat me down, and said "Look, this is how it is." (Maybe someone did that for you.) But there were the "Oh, just wait until's." The "Enjoy it while it lasts's." Any many other subtle hints about the difficulties ahead.

On the same note, no one ever tells you about the wonderful moments either.

The first time you feel your baby kick against the inside of your stomach. The bliss of reaching out your arms to hold your world just after he is born. The first smile, the first word, the silly games that he only plays with me. The happy twinge when they say "I love you and you are the best mom ever." The silly words and phrases. The signs of intelligence that make us sure that our child is a prodigy (admit it, we have all had that moment.)

And I think that we don't want anyone to tell us. Good or bad.

Having learned the ups and downs for ourselves makes us feel more proud of both surviving and enjoying. That we are navigating the oceans of parenthood by ourselves. We don't want to think of the difficulties as just run-of-the-mill. We don't want to think of the cute phrases and amazing landmarks as "typical" or "expected." We take pride in our work as parents.

And we want to take all the credit for the outcome.


  1. What a great flashback post! I don't think I was reading your blog at the time of this post (and I admit, I've been bad about staying up to date with reading lately!) I've got some catching up to do! You always have such great posts.

  2. I love this post, Katherine! I'm so glad you brought it out again.

    Almost all of my friends have kids now and I have to admit there are times when I think, "I'm so glad that's not me!" Mostly when I witness the out-of-nowhere meltdowns and the constant need for entertainment and attention.

    But then I watch some of those beautiful moments; the stolen kisses, the sweet little grins, and I think, "I wish that was me!"