Friday, April 16, 2010

Play Date

If there is any one thing I excel at, it is worrying.

I worry about everything. There doesn't have to be a particular reason for me to worry. It's just what I do. That, and multi-task. I worry about the bills, the house, the future, my kids. Especially my kids.

And since moving, one of the things I've worried about the most is Bug's ability to make friends. There were not many kids in the apartments we lived in. He attended a new school each year. All things that have not be very conducive to forming friendships. On top of that, he's extremely shy.

Early in the school year, Bug was enrolled in a peer relationship building course, a special program designed to help those who where, well, struggling socially. It's a small group with a guidance counselor where they talk about how to make friends, what makes a good friendship, etc.

We've encouraged him to make friends. I ask him how things are going. He's attended (with encouragement from me) every birthday party and social event he's been invited to.

But it didn't seem to be making any difference. His teacher still said that he played mostly by himself at recess. He was still very quiet in class. He never talked about other children at school.

And I fell into what I do best.

I worried.

Was Bug going to grow up and resent me for moving him around so much? Was that going to be the reason he couldn't make friends? Was he going to be lonely? Would he end up being the kid that was teased and picked on and never fit in anywhere?

Turns out, he just needs a little extra time.

Two weeks, he came home to announce he had been invited over to play at a classmate's home. Which he did. He then invited his friend over to our house. And now, they are back and forth regularly.

I's just my kid playing with another kid.

But it makes me want to do a happy dance in the kitchen and cartwheels around the back yard.

It's great to see Bug with a friend. He looks so happy as they play baseball out back and board games in his room.

Now that that issue is taken care of, I can get back to worrying if he's going to make the "right" kind of friends.


  1. I think because I had such a hard time finding friends that I worry more about my kids finding friends. I am excited to hear Bug has one- now the real drama begins... well if he were a girl their would be a lot more drama. I am dreading hearing one of my girls say "she doesn't want to be my friend" or "she doesn't like me any more"... I know I will want to jump in an fix it but friends are an unpredictable thing. I hope Bug has found a good friend!

  2. He just needed time... and now he has a friend. See? Worry is a wasted emotion. :)

  3. My daughter is turning 5.... and I worry about the "right kid of friends". Last week she came home and said "HOLY CRAP" ..... Yeah, thanks a lot friends!

  4. As someone who does social language therapy, I understand the importance of it. So glad he has a buddy. That is HUGE.

  5. My step-sister's son was in a similar place and she worried too. His situation was not helped by the fact that he also had a speech impediment.

    He never seemed to be bothered not having a lot of friends, but she fretted constantly. When he got to 2nd grade, everything changed. Now he has a lot of friends (most of them good) and he's really social.

  6. I am so happy for Bug, and you! And man can I second your worrying about kinds of friends. Punky is the opposite - she makes so many friends so readily that I am constantly afraid she'll make the "wrong" ones . . .

  7. YEA!YEA BUG!!!!!! Wish I were there to celebrate and do kitchen dances and cartwheels. Not that it has helped one single bit,but I have shared the worry and am relieved to see the bridge built! Success!
    Friends have more influence than we can really estimate. But I am also sure that nothing replaces truly rooted good character, not even bad friends. (Now you can worry about character instead of the right kind of friends lol.:))