Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Finish Line

I am no longer an intern.

I have been chanting, screaming, and singing these words ever since I left the hospital today. I called my mom to tell her. I shouted it as I walked through the door at home.

And then I did a happy dance.

I AM NO LONGER AN INTERN!!!!!

The first year of residency is done. Who would have imagined, one year ago, I would have actually made it to this point? Especially since last year, I thought I would die from nervousness.

I'm still undecided as to whether this has been the shortest year of my life or the longest. Maybe both.

It's been a difficult year, as I shared here, and here, and here, and here, and...okay, I think that's enough sharing of the front lines of burnout and despair.

But I've also learned so much. Some of them very practical, such as treatment of new atrial fibrillation and management of hyponatremia. Some of them more personal. It's been a year of carrying most of the load and being at the bottom of the food chain. It's been a year of tears and of complete indifference. It's been a year of many downs and the occasional up.

Whatever it has been, it almost doesn't matter. Because it's over. I start in the operating room tomorrow. Back to what I (hopefully) love to do.

I would like to think that the last year has provided me with a confidence boost. But since I'm as nervous about tomorrow, the official start of my anesthesia training, as I was to begin residency, that may not be the case.

I'm ready to close this chapter of my life and move on to writing the next. I hope to only look back with a small attitude of disdain and a huge sense of relief.

12 comments:

  1. NO MORE INTERN!!!!!!!! I am very excited for you. Back to poking people to make the pain go away??? Congrats on making it through!! AND Good Luck in Residency I hope you love it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congratulations. Good for you. Good luck with this next phase. I am sure you will do well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Congratulations!! Good luck with your anesthesia training.

    Just out of curiousity, how long is your residency?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I knew you would make it. Your a smart, beautiful, talented, and very determined woman. I hope you'll get to celebrate with a margarita when you get the chance!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Congrats!! What a huge milestone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Congratulations! That's HUGE!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Congratulations! What a wonderful feeling...best of luck in your next chapter :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congratulations!!! You will do wonderful in your next phase of residency. I'm sure of it! You have come far and will go a whole lot further because you are amazing and smart but most importantly you are determined and you have goals. Congrats again!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, wow!!!!!!! CONGRATS CONGRATS CONGRATS! Things are only going to get better from here, I think. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes! It really does get better, for you , for your real life, for your family, for your work.
    You are far more than you were a year ago, more than yesterday, less than you will be tomorrow, or next year. You are growing beautifully and held precious in the path He has for you!
    Congratulations to the whole team on this monumental milestone!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've been getting myself caught up on blogs and I just found this.

    YAY! Congratulations!

    And for the record, yes. There were PLENTY of people a year ago that KNEW you could make it.

    ReplyDelete